"I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired"

(originally written 8/27/09)

would it be crazy of me to wish to be something more? so many people get caught up in the everyday troubles, drama, items, pointless situations they let themselves get into,....whatever. i can sit out in the summer breeze and feel more alive than i ever had been in my life. i feel so free. i wish i were the breeze. am i crazy to want that? i feel like crying at times like this. in a sad happy way. its sad because they aren't here to feel it. but who knows, maybe they are it. i wish i were. its also good because for once i feel more than i ever had. i want to be something, anything to dance in it. won't anyone dance with me? if you could, would you? or be a cloud. that way i could express myself a little bit better by forming myself. doesn't anyone else feel the way i do? i really wonder. i wish i could soar in the sky. myself. my spirit. my soul. break out of this body and just become me with this air. the good, clean air. or somehow become music. its a good way to express yourself. i think i want to be free from all of my fears. i am scared. i'm scared to really live and be (my) something. to trust. to love. to be happy. i know if i could, i'd give it all up to be all that i could to soar. *sigh* this life. i really don't know what to make of it.